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Old February 10th, 2018, 08:13 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I'm a little pissed right now as I just got another email that he's booked a gig for March 10th. Didnt ask me if I was free or not. I felt like telling him that I'm busy that night but unlike him, I'm not a d!ck. Instead, I just told him not to book anymore gigs between now and the end of April unless he has someone ready to take my place. I promised him that I would finish the current gigs that he has booked thru April unless he finds someone to replace me beforehand. May is currently unbooked and at that point, I really don't care as I'm out.

The problem that I have is that my son takes possession of his new house next weekend and we have 6 weeks to gut his kitchen and main bathroom and renovate them before he fully moves in Seeing as I work all week, I can only help out on weekends. This guy now has me booked for 5 of those 6 weekends.

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Old February 11th, 2018, 04:55 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I'm a little pissed right now as I just got another email that he's booked a gig for March 10th. Didnt ask me if I was free or not. I felt like telling him that I'm busy that night but unlike him, I'm not a d!ck. Instead, I just told him not to book anymore gigs between now and the end of April unless he has someone ready to take my place. I promised him that I would finish the current gigs that he has booked thru April unless he finds someone to replace me beforehand. May is currently unbooked and at that point, I really don't care as I'm out.

The problem that I have is that my son takes possession of his new house next weekend and we have 6 weeks to gut his kitchen and main bathroom and renovate them before he fully moves in Seeing as I work all week, I can only help out on weekends. This guy now has me booked for 5 of those 6 weekends.

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If it was me Rob, I would tell him you are busy. He should have asked you first and yes, he's the dick for not asking you.
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Old February 11th, 2018, 10:09 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm with John on this one. You clearly explained that you would fulfill all the engagements that were already booked, and not that you were willing to cram in more. Your family is more important than this guy's pipe dream.
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Old March 2nd, 2018, 04:23 PM   #14 (permalink)
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You're awfully nice for a 61 year old, I just turned 60 and I'm grouchy as hell. Just tell him what you are willing to do, and if he can't figure out how to accommodate you and give you fair notice. Just say no, I can't do it, and beside I told you I only was willing to do 1 or 2 or whatever. Band suck. I don't miss the soap opera nature of bands, and I have not really been in one since the 80's.
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Old March 2nd, 2018, 06:05 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Forgot about this thread. Here's an update...the last gig we played with my buddy on bass was awesome, hardly any mistakes, tight sound. After the gig, my buddy said if the other bass player isn't ready, he was ready to play the next gig. Well, they rehearsed before that gig (without me) and figured the new guy was ready. Played the gig last Saturday and it was terrible...not so much the bass player, he did fairly well, but the whole band was out of kilter!

We must have blown a dozen endings, nobody knew who was singing my buddy's songs, we were all singing over each other, lost all the harmonies etc. It sucked. I sent the whole band an email on Tuesday and told the leader I was out at the end of the month. I wasn't going to embarrass myself. I said that we are playing a local bar in 3 weeks and we will not be ready for it. I was asked to reconsider because he too found Saturday to be a total "clusterf**k" and so he asked my buddy to come back and finish the gigs till April. My buddy and i both agreed to play the gigs as long as the leader doesn't book any more in that timeframe....4 gigs in the next 2 months...that's all we are committed to. Oh...and neither of us are doing the March 10th gig that he surprised us with.

We sound great and we actually DO get along. It's just that this guy can't say no to a gig and that's what was driving us crazy. Now he knows that we definitely will not play any other gigs in March or April.

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Old March 2nd, 2018, 07:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
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At age 65, I usually take the rare gig that's offered. There is one person on the planet that I would consider gigging with regularly if he got ambitious, but otherwise I play when and where it suits me and decline when it doesn't. Last year a local salsa singer tried to convince me to join her band by putting my name on the list of players in her promotional material, after I had declined. Her husband, a lawyer and most reasonable fellow got the flyers pulled and apologized to me. I have since played a couple of dates with her, most amicably. I never poison the water hole....
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Old April 19th, 2018, 09:27 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I was going to update this thread after my final gig with them this weekend but why wait. For the last few gigs, the band has been made up of me as well as the bass player and keyboard player from my other band, the drummer (leader) and another guitar player. Basically, with the 3 of us, he has the core of my other band and thinks it's his band!!! The 3 of us do trio gigs on the side and we are tight so the way I see it, he's sitting in with us!

We've all told him that we were doing the remaining gigs in April and then he has two months before the next gig at the end of June to find our replacements. He already has another bass player (see my previous post) and the original keyboard player had some surgery and has been unable to play since mid March but he'll be back. So he just needs to replace me.

However, knowing that we were done after this weekend, last week he booked another gig for next Saturday and then called me and my bass player to see if we were available. We're not. We have a trio gig playing dinner music at a corporate function. He even tried to guilt trip me by saying that he's been trying to get into this bar for a long time and now that he finally has the opportunity, he'd like to do it with this current band. Then he said that i told him i would play till the "END" of April. I actually told him that I would stay till the end of April but I told him not to book anymore gigs. Like I said, he can't say "no". So next weekend, he only has a partial band...drums, rhythm guitar, bass and maybe a keyboard player, if he's healthy enough. It's gonna sound like crap and he'll have ruined his chance of ever getting back in...only because he didn't check with us first. If he tried to get a few open dates and then checked with us, we would have willingly played with him in May or June. But he just jumped at the first date that he was given and took it without thinking how he was going to play it.

I agree with Biddlin and we shouldn't burn bridges. This guy is really nice but he really doesn't know how to manage a band. I'll go fill in if he needs me (and I'm free). However, one gig every few months I will do....more than that, I'll start declining. Otherwise, he won't replace me at all.

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Old April 20th, 2018, 03:12 AM   #18 (permalink)
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I was going to update this thread after my final gig with them this weekend but why wait. For the last few gigs, the band has been made up of me as well as the bass player and keyboard player from my other band, the drummer (leader) and another guitar player. Basically, with the 3 of us, he has the core of my other band and thinks it's his band!!! The 3 of us do trio gigs on the side and we are tight so the way I see it, he's sitting in with us!

We've all told him that we were doing the remaining gigs in April and then he has two months before the next gig at the end of June to find our replacements. He already has another bass player (see my previous post) and the original keyboard player had some surgery and has been unable to play since mid March but he'll be back. So he just needs to replace me.

However, knowing that we were done after this weekend, last week he booked another gig for next Saturday and then called me and my bass player to see if we were available. We're not. We have a trio gig playing dinner music at a corporate function. He even tried to guilt trip me by saying that he's been trying to get into this bar for a long time and now that he finally has the opportunity, he'd like to do it with this current band. Then he said that i told him i would play till the "END" of April. I actually told him that I would stay till the end of April but I told him not to book anymore gigs. Like I said, he can't say "no". So next weekend, he only has a partial band...drums, rhythm guitar, bass and maybe a keyboard player, if he's healthy enough. It's gonna sound like crap and he'll have ruined his chance of ever getting back in...only because he didn't check with us first. If he tried to get a few open dates and then checked with us, we would have willingly played with him in May or June. But he just jumped at the first date that he was given and took it without thinking how he was going to play it.

I agree with Biddlin and we shouldn't burn bridges. This guy is really nice but he really doesn't know how to manage a band. I'll go fill in if he needs me (and I'm free). However, one gig every few months I will do....more than that, I'll start declining. Otherwise, he won't replace me at all.

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That's guy is taking the wee wee Rob. Problem with breakups is that they can sometimes never 'breakup'. IMO a complete split is better.

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Old April 20th, 2018, 06:16 AM   #19 (permalink)
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He's got 9 gigs booked between now and the end of the year. Three of them are on nights that I'm booked with my other band and two of them are during my summer vacation. So the band isn't going to be breaking up. We think he's just going to play the gigs with whoever shows up. He had 4 gigs this year when we joined in November. He's picked up at least 8 more after the venues heard us play. Once we are gone, the quality or sound won't be there and he won't be getting anything new. It's sad that he is so stubborn that he won't listen to logic until it bites him in the @$$. By then, it's too late.

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Old April 22nd, 2018, 07:48 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Wooohoooo!!

Played my last "booked" gig with these guys yesterday. It went quite well. It went so well that the guy who booked us told our keyboard player that we are one of the best bands they've ever had. The bass player and I joined the conversation at this point and we mentioned that we play in another band but we've been playing with these guys to help them out. The gentleman gave me his card and told me to give him a call if we are interested in playing there. The 3 of us are the "nucleus" of both of these bands...3 vocalists/instrumentalists...all we really need is a drummer and we could play anywhere.

So, we discussed it amongst the 3 of us and thought that this could be a perfect opportunity for us to keep the fingers and vocal chords in shape if we could get in once every 4 to 6 weeks. We just have to talk to the others and see if they would be interested as the money isnt great but we could probably look at these gigs as paid rehearsals for the larger gigs that we do. These pay $70/man where the weddings, dinner/dances and corporate functions that we play can pay $200-250/man.

Feeling quite good this morning.


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